Plum er's Helper
by Kelby
Summary: Title should read "Plum-er's Helper" It won't accept the dash. Stephanie is not having a good afternoon. She had a problem. She called for help. It's who she didn't call that's a problem.


Author Note: All characters belong to JE. This is the first thing I've written in a very long time, and my first JE fic. So please bear with me. I'm just getting back into the swing of fanfic writing after a long, long break. I liked the concept and the beginning, but I'm not sure of the end. It just wouldn't go were I wanted it to go. Hopefully this will help get me going again.

Plum-er's Helper

Joe Morelli pulled in front of his house and let out an annoyed groan. The only thing he liked less than finding a Rangeman vehicle parked in front of his house was finding two. And today, there were not only two shiny black SUV's sitting there, but their 'owner' (for however legal that ownership was he still wasn't sure) was pulling up as well. That just topped off his day.

"Crap." He spat out as he slammed shut his car door. Manoso, plus at least two of his guys can't be good. That can only mean one thing, Stephanie in yet another mess. And if it takes Ranger Manoso and two of his goons to protect her, it's got to be bad. His mood was quickly going from bad to worse when he realized that whatever was going on, she hadn't even bothered to call him and tell him she was in trouble. Once again she went straight to Manoso. "Shit" he whispered under his breath as he met Ranger on the sidewalk in front of the house. "What's going on? Is she alright?" He asked him, somewhat anxiously.

"I'm not sure." Ranger replied.

This intrigued Joe. Manoso liked to think he knew everything going on. Everything on the streets, with his guys, and unfortunately for Joe, with his fiancée Stephanie Plum. Fiancée still sounded a little weird. It had only been a couple of weeks since she had actually agreed to marry him "eventually". For now it was sort of a holding pattern, but at least they had moved up from relationship, to living together, to actually engaged. He wasn't sure when they were getting married, but he was happy enough with the current status for the moment. But now his fiancée seemed to have managed to get herself in trouble again. He looked at Manoso. "What do you mean your not sure? Is she in trouble? Did something happen?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm here. Something is going on, and I came to find out what."

"Well what do you know?" Joe asked as they walked up the sidewalk to the front porch.

"Tank went off line this afternoon. An hour later, Santos goes offline as well. GPS shows both of their vehicles over here. Phones are going to voicemail. Their avoiding me, which means it's something she doesn't want me to know about."

Joe walked up the steps onto the porch as he listened to Ranger. He almost wanted to grin. Something was going on and Steph hadn't bothered to tell the great Manoso. And he knew it pissed him off. Yes, he almost wanted to grin, but at the same time, she also hadn't told him. And now it looked like she had herself in danger again. Morelli's cop face slide into place as he jabbed the key into the lock and turned it. "Let's go find out."

As the door opened, Joe braced for the impact that didn't come. When that door opened, there should be an attack of a large hairy, orange, beast. He reached for the gun on his hip as he looked back at Ranger who had also realized no Bob the Dog at the door was wrong and already had his gun out. The two entered the living room and Ranger quietly closed the door behind them.

Joe motioned with his head towards the stairs. Silently they walked over as they heard voices float down from upstairs. After listening for a moment Joe rolled his eyes and reholstered his gun.

"You guys need to hurry up! Joe's going to be home anytime now! And I need all this cleaned up and you guys gone before that happens!" Stephanie said, the urgency clear in her voice.

"Yeah Santos you need to get that thing back together. I can't keep letting my phone go to voicemail." Tank's voice came down the stairs. "We don't get back online soon, Ranger's going to be all over our asses wanting to know what's going on."

"Too late." Ranger said from the bottom of the stairs as he and Joe started to walk up them.

Stephanie jumped at the sound of his voice as she turned around. Lula, who had pulled a chair out of Joe's office and was petting Bob, gave out a little squeak.

"Joe!" Stephanie cried, eyes wide as she looked back and forth between Joe and Ranger, and Tank, Lula and Lester Santos, who was on his back on the bathroom floor, half under the bathroom sink counter. "It's not what it looks like! I can explain!"

"I'm sure you can Cupcake." Joe laughed realizing whatever it was, it was better than what he had envisioned. "And I'm sure this is going to be good."

"Santos! What the hell are you doing under there?" Ranger hollered into the bathroom.

Lester let out a little laugh. "Tank you're getting better at those Ranger imitations! That one really sort of sounded like him."

Ranger looked over at Tank and raised one questioning eyebrow before turning back to the bathroom. "Santos!" He barked at him. "Get out here. Now."

Realizing it really was Ranger, Lester jumped a little and smacked his head on something under the sink. "Shit!" He pulled his head out from under the sink and stood up, still holding the U shaped piece of pipe trap and the large plumbers wrench.

During the little back and forth between Manoso and his men, Joe watched Stephanie, all full of nervous energy, as she chewed on her lip and fretted over the situation. He crossed his arms loosely across his chest and he leaned back against the wall. "So Cupcake, you were saying something about an explanation?"

"Um….." she so eloquently said, eyes going back and forth between the two. "Well…"

"Oh it's not her fault!" Lula piped up from the chair where she had been petting Bob, who only just now realized Joe was home as he stood up, stretched and walked over to him before dropping down at his feet.

"I'm sure it wasn't." Joe added, already having a good idea where this was going, but wanting to hear it from Stephanie herself. "But Cupcake why don't you tell us why everyone is here, and Santos is holding part of the bathroom sink."

Stephanie let out a little sigh. "Oh all right! I came up here to wash my ring off. I took it off and was scrubbing it with an old toothbrush to get all the meatball gunk out of it--"

"Meatball gunk?" Joe interrupted somewhat confused. "You were cooking?"

Stephanie gave a slightly annoyed sigh. "Yes, meatball gunk. Your sister called and asked me to make meatballs for the kids. She mixed up the meat and all I had to do was shape them and bake them. Of course I managed to cook them into rocks while I was trying to fish out my ring, but before that happened, well, I dropped it."

"You dropped your engagement ring down the sink?" Joe said to her.

"Yes." She grimaced. "It was an accident. It hasn't been the best of afternoons."

"I can see that." He grinned. "But so after you dropped it, what happened then?"

"Well," she paused, "I tried to fish it out. I worked at the stupid thing for almost an hour with a coat hanger! And it kept getting later, and you were going to be home soon. And we have to go to dinner at your mothers….. and, well…. I panicked." Joe gave a little grin, trying hard not to laugh out loud, as he shook his head slightly to get her to continue. "And then I called Lula."

"You called Lula? You dropped your ring down the bathroom sink and you called Lula?" He asked her, somewhat surprised. Stephanie just nodded. "Okay, and then…" Joe asked as he looked at Lula.

"I called Tank." Lula exclaimed as if that explained it all.

Joe and Ranger looked from Lula to Tank and waited.

Tank closed his eyes for a second as he let out a sigh. "I picked up Lula and we came over to see what the problem was. And then I called Santos and told him to find Luis and get a plumber's wrench from him."

Joe's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. He looked at Ranger. "Who's Luis?"

"He manages my building and takes care of things like this." He looked over at Lester, still holding the pipe trap. "Maybe you just should have brought Luis instead."

Lester looked down at the trap. "Um, maybe?" He grinned as he handed the pipe to Joe. "Sorry man, it's just not going back on right. The threads are sort of corroded. She probably did you a favor finding that out for you. Old houses and all."

"Riiiiight." Joe said shaking his head as he took the pipe from Lester.

"See it was all an accident." Stephanie told him sweetly as she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Oh I'm sure." He laughed. "Cause it makes perfect sense to call a bunch of mercenaries--"

"Ugly word Morelli." Lester teased as he cut him off.

"Sorry," Joe said as he did a little eye roll, but he was still amused. "It makes perfect sense to call a bunch of 'security specialist' when you drop your ring down the drain."

"Well I didn't exactly call them." Stephanie explained as she wiped her ring on her shirt. "I told you, I panicked. I actually called Lula."

Now Joe just outright laughed. "Well that makes totally sense. I mean it's a good thing you called Lula."

Stephanie was confused. She looked at Joe, not sure where he was going to with this. "It is?"

"Sure. You had a situation, you panicked, you called one of your best friends." Joe laughed as his eyes slid slightly towards Ranger. Joe could tell Ranger knew what he was thinking. "I mean it's a good thing you called Lula. I mean god only knows what would happened if you'd called your other best friend."

Stephanie looked at him for a second before slapping herself on the forehead. "Mary Lou!"

"Babe." Ranger gave her the slightest of grins that was mixed with a touch of disbelieve in his voice.

"Mary Lou?" Lester asked, not knowing what was going on.

Joe nodded. "Mary Lou Molnar. Her best friend since they were little." He explained to Lester barely able to keep a straight face. "She's married to Lennie Stankovic now. We went to high school with him. Right out of school he went to work for his dad. Now he owns his dad's company. Stankovic and Sons. Stankovic and Sons Heating and Plumbing."

Lester looked at Stephanie with amazement. "Your best friend is married to a plumber?"

"I know." She snapped at him. "I can't believe I forgot about Mary Lou!"

"That is pretty bad." Lula added as they all began to laugh again.

"I know, I know." Stephanie said as she started down the stairs with everyone following.

Once in the living room Stephanie thanked the guys and Lula for coming over to help her and they left. Before Ranger walked out the door she turned to him. "Don't be mad at them, they were only trying to help me. You always say I don't know how to ask for help when I need it. See this time I asked for help." She told him, trying to be cute.

"Yes but this time you didn't need them. Gotta be more aware of your surroundings Babe." He grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. But what's that supposed to mean in this case?" She asked him, confused.

Joe came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. "It means when your in the bathroom, call a plumber." He laughed while placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Babe." Was all Ranger said as he walked out the door. But Joe got the distinct impression he found the whole thing funny as well.

Stephanie leaned into Joe let out a sigh as she closed the door behind Ranger. "I told you I wasn't having the best of afternoons."

"Cheer up Cupcake, it can only get better from here on out." Joe told her as he placed a kiss on the back of her neck.

She turned to look at him. "Did you forget we are due to have dinner with your entire family in less than two hours. Oh and the part that we're supposed to bring are so rock hard, even Bob probably won't eat them."

Joe laughed. "Bob ate the phone book. He'll eat them."

She shot him with her best Burg glare again. "And what about dinner?"

"I'll run out and buy a few bags of frozen meatballs." He said leaning in to kiss her neck again as his hand started to slide up her shirt.

Stephanie smacked his hand away. "Frozen! Are you nuts? I can't walk over there with frozen meatballs!"

"We'll cook them first." He said between kisses as he slid his hand under her shirt again.

"That's not what I mean and you know it! I can't walk into Angie Morelli's house with a bunch of store bought frozen and re-cooked meatballs! Have you lost your mind?"

"Relax. Their only for the kids. Besides, Mary does it all the time." He told her walking her back towards the stairs.

"Are you sure? If your mom or grandmother say anything, I'm going to tell them it was your idea."

"'Kay." Was all he said as he continued kissing up her throat and started nibbling on her ear.

"I just… I mean… but what…. are you sure…" She tried to protest, but was having a hard time concentrating.

"Trust me." He told her, giving her the patented Morelli grin as he backed her up the stairs.

"I told you I wasn't having the best of afternoons." She explained as her hands went under his tee shirt as well.

"I know that now." He said pulling her tee shirt off over her head as they made it to the top of the stairs. "And I'm going to do everything in my power to fix that problem. Right now."

"Well okay then." She told him.

Joe grinned. His day was suddenly looking much better than when he first pulled up to his house.


End file.
